SHE-UNLEASHED Influential Leader: Lead from your Purpose

Phumza Dyani SHE-UNLEASHED
7 min readOct 25, 2021

--

Photo credit: BuzzNigeria.com

I grew up in a humble township of South Africa. I was the last born for a long time, until my younger brother appeared midway through my 9th birthday and stole my sunshine. From a young age, I was very much aware of the immediate societal challenges. I was observant, particularly, of the women of our community and how many households were headed by them. It would always intrigue me as, in my head, it took two people to make a child. Where were the fathers? I could see their struggles and how in their strength, they brought up families with little but drew from their sweat and blood to bring up children as well as grandchildren. When a family lost a female breadwinner, the grim future that followed thereafter was pitiful. It was a sad story and one could see the helplessness that followed thereafter. As an impressionable 7-year-old at the time, I had dreams of doing something about the situation. I wished I could offer the support and the love to help lighten the load of these women. I did not know how I would execute on this one but felt very drawn to

My family was no different from these. My grandmother was a real uniter of the family and she had lost her husband when I was about to be born. The time that followed thereafter would be immense hardship for the family. She stood and managed to hold together a household with about 11 members at our pique. She would run multiple entrepreneurial ventures from selling food to fizzy drinks until old age caught up with her. Thereafter, my mother took over and she would raise us till our years of independence. Our backgrounds are very important and often give us a view of what our purpose on earth is. They give us a view of societal problems we are meant to solve as we would have, ourselves, experienced the plight of others.

Molesely Crawford, in the book called the Queen Code, refers to this as the genetic code of our highest expression and likens our lives to the metamorphosis of a caterpillar to the butterfly.

As a Female Leader today, I love working with women and I believe my background was never in vain. I can intuitively pick up on the shy hesitation and the unheard voices in our boardrooms. I notice the ones spoken over and I will point out when I see this happening. The most surprising part about it is that these voices carry so much wisdom and maturity that Organisations need. What I believe is that everyone has a story, what creates our greatness is what we do with the state we found the world in. You may be eager to do something but not know where to start. I encourage you to explore these thoughts and one may resonate with you at whatever stage you may find yourself in.

  1. You are powerful

You may already be aware of your power, but I am here to let you know that you, most probably, have not even used or shared half of what you are capable of. My plea is that you arise to the power you carry within, using it as a driving force behind your every touchpoint. Let your voice be heard, even when it is shaking, do not leave that table without your thoughts being heard, acknowledged and integrated into the conversation. Do it even when they would rather not hear you. When they misquote you, calmly restate what you mean.

2. Know the ‘Why’ behind your ‘what’

My upbringing was not only speaking to a local societal issue but of a global problem that needs solving. Later in life, as a Corporate leader, I would come across a similar struggle. Women seemed to be in leadership positions but not commanding power as their male counterparts. The vast majority at C-Level is still predominantly male and therefore, a critical mass remains male and not much support for women. It is amazing how the seemingly, ‘professional’ environment mirrors exactly what happens in society.My background always reminds me of the ‘why’ and the ‘what’ becomes easier to figure out. My experiences at Corporate have also shaped me to be more aware of the challenges of women. My ‘Why’ comes alive here too and that is why I have a passion for supporting women, magnifying their voices through articles I write as well as Coach and Mentor women. I use my lessons to empower them to have a much more powerful journey than I ever had.

What lessons can you share to empower others? Oftentimes, our greatest lessons are the most painful ones, yet they carry so much power if used positively.

3. Understand what is holding you back

I meet amazing women who have so much to share to help other women. I often ask why they do not spend time sharing and I hear all reasons for refusing to lead. Often, it is because they feel their stories are not worth retelling. They often do not recognise themselves as powerful through their stories. At other times, I can hear that when some re-visit the painful events, there is still pain in the voices.

Often, these stories or events carry a jewel of wisdom when we reflect on them with reflection and hindsight. I challenge you to not be afraid to go back to where you got stuck. Your energy may be different now and you have gathered much more experience to deal with things differently. Whatever needs to be forgiven must be forgiven and move forward. Take the lessons and reframe these experiences for your strength.

3. It may look ‘foggy’ but its all part of the plan

In the journey of discovery, it can seem as if nothing is working. Never lose heart and understand this as part of the process. Continue exploring and working with those that resonate with your message.

It is also important to learn to pull away from others. The truth of the matter is your commitment should be to your vision and seeing it through. Never lose heart, soon enough the stars will align and you will find a powerful route for your goals. Never be afraid to be open to trying out new things in your quest to do more and share of yourself. Most learning takes place with us navigating new territories and learning new transferable skills that can do nothing but improve our craft. I have had to learn many ways for perfecting articulation of my message.

The caveat to this, of course, is not fearing to walk away from things that no longer serve you.

4. Develop a voice and refine your message

The most exhilarating discovery you will ever making is hearing your voice and crafting your own message. It can be daunting at first, but with time, you develop so much belief and conviction for your message. Avoid the pressures of hyper-growth and refine your voice with reading, research, and listening to like-minded thought-leaders.

Many are waiting to hear your message. Hold on your vision of what you want to make an impact on for your life, keep holding on to it. People will show up. The stars will align as long as you keep communicating it and you’re consistent with it. Do not be scared of criticism. When I started, I received feedback that was good at times and other times, I was told I was all over. I did not mind this because I knew I was discovering the essence of my message. I am forever grateful for the queens who give feedback and share how my message has affected them.

5. Grow your influence and inherently, resourcefulness

By growing our reach and influence, you also access resources that can help many in their journeys of life. You will be shocked by how many people are encountering similar challenges as what you have experienced. Hearing you speak and articulating your message gives them so much hope and you can be instrumental to someone’s Turning-point in life. Share your message without fear. You will connect with many others who share your purpose. Build from there and make a significant impact.

6. Learn to say no

You will save a lot of time from being truthful and outrightly saying no to commitments that are not aligned with your vision. There is always a temptation to not close a door to opportunities and potential relationships that can move your cause forward. The truth of the matter though is that, there is also a lot of wasting of time you will encounter with people who are also trying to figure out where they are headed. Have the courage to evaluate these and choose what feels right to you.

7. Be patient

It may take time before you see results. Do not lose heart. Find hope in the little sprouts of positive feedback. Read stories about others who have had to develop strength. It is a faith thing. When the time is right, everything will fall into place then you can help other people live a meaningful life as well. In the true words of ill Bradley, American Hall of Fame Basketball Player and Rhodes Scholar: “Ambition is the path to success. Persistence is the vehicle you arrive in.” People may not notice you or your message for a long time. The important part is to keep going and trust the process.

--

--

Phumza Dyani SHE-UNLEASHED
Phumza Dyani SHE-UNLEASHED

Written by Phumza Dyani SHE-UNLEASHED

A Marketer, with an absolute passion for new challenges. An advocate for inclusive societies and work places. Love for Technology and innovation.

Responses (1)